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To find out how best to use online services, we first have to examine their strengths and weaknesses.Finkel and his collaborators critique the three main areas in which online dating services claim to be superior to the offline, or old-fashioned, way of meeting people in person.e Harmony provides its users with advice on dating, relationships, and—of course—plenty of diagnostic quizzes.Although these online dating sites attract millions of customers and billions of dollars, scientific study reveals that they cannot possibly come through on these promises.In a recent comprehensive analysis, Northwestern University psychologist Eli Finkel and collaborators claim that online dating sites not only don’t improve, but may even hurt those seeking happiness in their relationships.It was natural enough that online dating services would develop and evolve over the past two decades.Their diagnostic tests seem to key in on the fundamental essence of our personalities, ensuring that we’ll be paired with the one person in the world whose fundamental essence will resonate to ours.
Online dating services are not only convenient, but they also have the apparent advantage of using systematic methods to match us with the partner of a lifetime.
When their expectation doesn’t match reality, they are then more disappointed than they would be if they had met the person earlier on in the relationship.
This process is exacerbated by the tendency that people have to disguise their flaws either by bending the truth or lying outright about their age, their job, their background, or even their marital status.
If you hold onto the false belief that you need to keep looking until you find that soulmate, you may zip past some otherwise excellent dating prospects.
Communication Because users can engage in extensive online communication (called “Computer Mediated Communication” or CMC), prior to meeting, they form impressions that may or may not correspond to those they eventually make when they see the real person.