Friends first or dating
But if you were buds to begin with, it may never be the same, or you may even lose that companionship entirely."We have tried to maintain a friendship and succeeded at some points," says Michelle of her former beau.At the same time, be prepared to learn new things about each other and see each other in a completely new light. Wiley Online Library requires cookies for authentication and use of other site features; therefore, cookies must be enabled to browse the site.Needless to say, the deciding factor is whether or not your feelings are returned, and whether you gain a significant other or lose a close confidant.But while the future may be uncertain, experts say that there is a way to cross the line cautiously so as not to catch your crush off-guard and, at the very least, preserve your friendship if the attraction isn't mutual."It may sound a bit cold, but with so much at stake, running a cost/benefit analysis on your potential romantic involvement with a friend before you confess your feelings can be really helpful."She continues, "If you do decide to go ahead and pursue romance with a friend, it's very important to not get too attached to a positive outcome.
And if they have no interest in pursuing romance, be gracious and respectful of their 'no,' and don't hold it against them."They say to hope for the best and prepare for the worst, and should your feelings go unreturned, it may be helpful to have a little speech planned to help preserve your current friendship.But eventually (and despite their close friendship), she realized that the key ingredient that bridges the gap between platonic and romantic affection — attraction — was missing. I wanted to be in love with him, but eventually came to terms with that the fact that I wasn't and could never be."Sean and I had an amazing friendship and had been through so much together," she shares. I realized that it wasn't fair to him me, so I ended things."While breakups are never easy, a split with someone who started as a friend can feel like a double loss, especially if they're more emotionally invested."In a situation like this, you have to be prepared for all possible outcomes," says Dr.Valeria Chuba, integrative sexologist and host of the Get Sex-Smart Podcast.