Dating a woman out of my league
It’s not just that older men are considered most desirable in New York.“New York is a special case for men,” Bruch told me.“It’s the market with the highest fraction of women.“There’s so much folk wisdom about dating and courtship, and very little scientific evidence,” she told me recently.“My research comes out of realizing that with these large-scale data sets, we can shed light on a lot of these old dating aphorisms.” Bruch and her colleagues analyzed thousands of messages exchanged on a “popular, free online-dating service” between more than 186,000 straight men and women.If this was a site that was 20 percent white, we may see a totally different desirability hierarchy.”“Other people have done research using data from online-dating sites, and found similar racial and gender hierarchies,” said Rosenfeld, the Stanford professor.And Bruch emphasized that the hierarchy did not just depend on race, age, and education level: Because it is derived from user behavior, it “captures whatever traits people are responding to when they pursue partners.
But I hadn’t expected to see their desirability drop off from the time they’re 18 to the time they’re 65,” Bruch told me.“But I was also surprised to see how flat men’s desirability was over the age distribution,” she said. Especially in New York.”- New York is a men’s market, at least according to this particular study.
But “women reply very selectively to the messages they receive from men—their average reply rate is less than 20 percent—so women’s replies …
can give us significant insight about who they are interested in.”The team combined all that data by using the Page Rank algorithm, the same software that helps inform Google’s search results.
“The greater choice set pays dividends to people who are willing to be persistent in trying to find a mate.”Of the study as a whole, he said: “I think its conclusions are robust and its methodologies are sound.”Yet what also emerges from the data is a far more depressing idea of “leagues” than many joking friends would suppose.
Across the four cities and the thousands of users, consistent patterns around age, race, and education level emerge.